one year later

packed bags, out the door on that fateful day

last meal with mama, some delicious filet

a blank slate and unsure of what to expect

its one year later and time to reflect

one year ago, thoughts just swirled: living in a hut without even a friend

how would i ever mend?

and me teach my own class?

ive been a student my whole life, would my kids even pass?

and could i even keep up with happenings in the states?

would my friends all have new mates?

and would i really become a full fledged member of the community?

chilling by a fire with my new family while sipping tea?

and despite the anxiety and fear

the overarching purpose was clear

an introspective search for goals did commence

time to break from that american bubble and white picket fence

become independent, confident, and a bit more mature

but with everything else, i was much less sure

okahandja: our training location

but lets be real, we were at club o on more than one occasion

then my fate, it did seal

living in the kavango region, this all became a bit more real

arriving in my village created quite the stir

posh nam life behind me, as if it were a  blur

and yet within a few months, ndiyona became my home

part of the community, it was my own

then i took on that role, a teacher

and no, im not trying to be some kind of preacher

but once those shy kids were shown some love and support

their academic and social performance, not even i could thwart

suddenly my confidence and authority began to grow

ideas and knowledge among my kids, they did sow

all that ive learned even has me excited to be a parent

assuming when i go home, of course, and can afford to pay rent

that american-nam identity fusion began to occur

thoughts i rarely considered, now became engrained and sure

being open about race, sex, and life for that matter

no more of that politically correct chatter

living in nam has enshrined so much: what it means to free spirited and accountable

that you can live life without cable (and still be stable)

that life sets you on a path thats sometimes unrecognizable 

and that being sarcastic, here, im barely able

no more longer seeing namibia as this other place

often forgetting im not the same race

6 dogs, hiking around, sandy roads, goats and all

i hardly remember that, to many, this isn't normal

and yet while, of course, nam has transformed me

i owe so much of this to a girl named sydney

yeah we escaped hippos, and danced with orphans, all while reaching new stages

but what truly impacted me was what i learned about love, something you never read on book pages

that when you know, you know cause its perfect when its real

theres no better way to end this poem, then with the way i feel