Thursday, September 6, 2012

"i was here [at CAMP GLOW]"


ill be honest. as i prepared for camp GLOW, i had a few reservations, some doubts. with the overarching one year NAMiversary becoming ever apparent, it became clear that the peace corps' 2 year commitment was essential. in order to truly build capacity, to form connections, integrate in the community, and achieve goals--well, 2 years seems to be the bare minimum. and yet, at the same time, we prepared for a one week camp for the brightest boys and girls from all over Namibia, those showing enormous leadership potential, those who will surely constitute the future leaders of the country. but one week? really? hasn't peace corps taught me that change cant be implemented in a few months, let alone a WEEK? so i was a bit disillusioned. but then camp started and those disillusions dissolved. 

i arrived at eros primary school, the site of camp glow 2012, but unfortunately i could not take in the playground (which i hadn't seen one since my time in the states) nor the scenery because 1) it was 3am and 2) i was literally falling asleep as i strolled my things into an empty hostel room where i plopped myself on top of a bed frame (sans mattress) and passed out till the morning when i heard 40 screaming boys and decided it was time to get up. 

i woke up, still a bit delirious, but as a tested teacher knew how to dust off those bits of delirium and replenish myself with some enthusiasm cause that first day was run by me and lindsay (the best co-leader everrr). 

i looked around the hall of 88 learners plucked from each region of the country knowing barely more than one other face and, despite the evident anxiety pouring through their nervous selves, the excitement at such an opportunity was apparent. and we started with a discussion of stereotypes, get it all out there candidly. one purpose of the camp was to break through those invisible walls and boundaries that keep and tear people apart. and thats exactly what we did. we constructed a wall based on stereotypes and throughout the week as the learners made friends of different tribes, ages, economic backgrounds, and genders the walls slowly crumbled until the final culmination when we allowed the kids to literally tear the wall down. (reagan anyone?) in namibia, a nation ridden with socioeconomic disparity, gender inequality, and dangerous tribalism, such an activity is fundamental to any leadership camp. 

mo and I were designated as the camp CARE BEARS. in sharp contrast to the king and queen of smackdown (though mad props to jeannine), our aim was to keep those kids smiling. easy, i thought. but then one afternoon, mo and i were patrolling the school grounds during break time and saw a crying girl approaching us (well, she can certainly spot a care bear). or so we thought. we soon realized she was attempting to make a break for it. again, easy she was a young girl, how hard could it be to contain her. HARD. after an hour of chasing her around the field and pulling her through barbed wire and fence holes, we convinced her (despite her crippling screams) to 1) relax a bit and 2) that were here for her. once we discovered the problem, we had the boys who were teasing her apologize. and all was cool from there. well, kinda. 

one day we trapezed across windhoek, the first time for many of these learners. first stop: PARLIAMENT. when we say future leaders, we weren't kidding. and the kids did not disappoint. as we toured the parliament, we sat in the seats of their  elected representatives and the learners asked critical and provacative questions that even made this GW alum smile. their critical views of their government were on sharp display, a fundamental ingredient for a blooming democracy. 

of course it was camp, so despite all the "learning and leadership development" that took place, we also had FUN. following one discussion on relationships and love and gender "roles" in Namibia, i noticed that some of the girls felt a bit unsettled. while many of the learners displayed progressive views on gender, some still stuck to traditional views that often objectify/subjugate women to an unequal status (such as getting married to a woman is like owning a car, thus you can "drive it whenever you want) [plug for sex documentary…more info to come] but what makes these female learners leaders is their passion and conviction to argue back and once the moment boiled, i took some of the girls outside for a game of frisbee, and then we discussed dating and gender and they had the ability to chill and unload some frustrations. while its important for girls to have female role models who personify gender equality and show them examples of success, its equally important to me that these girls have a male role model who challenges male dominated stereotypes. as i alluded to when we tore down stereotypes, it was also to tear those gender boundaries. yes, sex puts biological limits on ourselves but gender is socially constructed and thus can change, and more importantly, improve.

as for some more fun, we had a dance party after a grueling afternoon of crocodile crossing and ultimate frisbee (which i obviously showed no mercy to our younger learners) and taught the kids the CUPID SHUFFLE (some necessary cultural exchange) then on the last day of camp we had a talent show and one of the most brilliant older girls at the camp approached me and laine and requested to sing with us. adele. someone like you. uhhh its as if she had known us for the past year. and so we did an interpretive dance and sing-a-long to our favorite balled. 

and then we heard these gentle words "i was here" sung by one boy, sylvester. one thing that needs emphasis is this: namibian learners are not afraid to sing and dance in public, in front of their peers. (take for example a month ago when one of my learners approached me and said "sir, its my birthday!" so i was like, "ok go ahead and sing your favorite song to the class" i said it with a smirk with my american mindset paramount cause clearly a kid would never agree to that. but she did. without an ounce of shame) 

ok back to camp GLOW. this boy, age 13, stood in front of us all and belted the beyonce song with a smile. and its message dramatically resonated with each of us, the peace corps volunteers, the namibian facilitators, and especially the learners. julie hyman rocked this camp to an insane level and i will forever appreciate her. but the camp was what it was because of the kids.  and the lasting impressions of what they learned about their futures, the inspiration they garnered and instilled, the love they developed and demonstrated, the moments they realized they are special…all these moments confirmed that they were there or as beyond would say "I WAS HERE" one line especially evoked chilling emotion "the hearts i have touched will be the proof that i leave that i made a difference and this world will see that i was here."

syd, if you're reading i may or may not have been referring to this song all week. albeit indirectly. 

peace and love america. and barack, just in case you're also reading, own it tonight just like your wife did.



Monday, September 3, 2012

one year later


packed bags, out the door on that fateful day
last meal with mama, some delicious filet
a blank slate and unsure of what to expect
its one year later and time to reflect

one year ago, thoughts just swirled: living in a hut without even a friend
how would i ever mend?
and me teach my own class?
ive been a student my whole life, would my kids even pass?

and could i even keep up with happenings in the states?
would my friends all have new mates?
and would i really become a full fledged member of the community?
chilling by a fire with my new family while sipping tea?

and despite the anxiety and fear
the overarching purpose was clear
an introspective search for goals did commence
time to break from that american bubble and white picket fence
become independent, confident, and a bit more mature
but with everything else, i was much less sure

okahandja: our training location
but lets be real, we were at club o on more than one occasion
then my fate, it did seal
living in the kavango region, this all became a bit more real

arriving in my village created quite the stir
posh nam life behind me, as if it were a  blur
and yet within a few months, ndiyona became my home
part of the community, it was my own

then i took on that role, a teacher
and no, im not trying to be some kind of preacher
but once those shy kids were shown some love and support
their academic and social performance, not even i could thwart

suddenly my confidence and authority began to grow
ideas and knowledge among my kids, they did sow
all that ive learned even has me excited to be a parent
assuming when i go home, of course, and can afford to pay rent

that american-nam identity fusion began to occur
thoughts i rarely considered, now became engrained and sure
being open about race, sex, and life for that matter
no more of that politically correct chatter

living in nam has enshrined so much: what it means to free spirited and accountable
that you can live life without cable (and still be stable)
that life sets you on a path thats sometimes unrecognizable 
and that being sarcastic, here, im barely able

no more longer seeing namibia as this other place
often forgetting im not the same race
6 dogs, hiking around, sandy roads, goats and all
i hardly remember that, to many, this isn't normal

and yet while, of course, nam has transformed me
i owe so much of this to a girl named sydney
yeah we escaped hippos, and danced with orphans, all while reaching new stages
but what truly impacted me was what i learned about love, something you never read on book pages
that when you know, you know cause its perfect when its real
theres no better way to end this poem, then with the way i feel